That Was The Week That Was 04-08 September 2023
Comedy Capers…
The first full week back at the coalface can be hard, so who does not appreciate a little bit of slapstick to lighten the load? And who better than that old thespian, that treader of the boards of self-publicity, Ryanair’s CEO Michael O’Leary to provide it for us?
You have probably seen him being hit in the face with a pie as he tried to stage a one-man protest about ATCO strikes that disrupt his passengers, and of course, his airline. The pretext he used for this protest was that the petition Ryanair launched earlier this year has now got 1.5 million signatures. That is a very impressive number. The threshold to compel action from the Commission is 1 million, and indeed the first million signatures have already been presented to the Commission, but getting to 1.5 million is also worth celebrating, perhaps with a cake.
In any event, there was O’Leary, cardboard cut-out of the President of the Commission Ursula von der Leyen beside him to make some sort of point, when what might have been protesters walked up to him and hit him in the face with a pie. Two possibly protesters, two definitely pies.
I think there is room for doubt here. This was a one-man protest. The Ryanair office had warned the press, and the Commission staff it was happening, but it was not, in the normal sense, a public event. So how did the pie-in-the-facers get to be there, pies at the ready? There must be a baker somewhere that makes these pies. They are specialist items. Do not do it with a fruit cake, for example, for risk of concussion to the pie-in-facee. A covered pie, like a meat pie, will be less visually interesting. Having a hot pie is a bit cruel. You do not want expensive ingredients involved, no saffron, no sugar and so forth, on economic grounds. These pies must come from somewhere.
There are three at least three possibilities. First, there are protesters marching around Schumann at all times, pies ready, on the off-chance that a pie-worthy dignitary hoves into view. Helping this theory is the fact that the first pie-in-facer did not mention a protest worthy outrage; she merely said ‘Welcome to Brussels’. Is it some sort of Belgium tourism board promotion? Making the best of that unique Brussellian sense of humour? The second protestor mumbled something about stopping flying, but to be the second pie-in-facer is really to be the metaphysical back end of the pantomime horse. The element of surprise is gone, tempers are probably rising.
The second theory is that the protesters/welcoming party were tipped off by the press, wanting some vision for a protest that was otherwise very niche, so that they might make the news without having to unpick the complexities. Alternatively, was there a mole inside the Commission itself? Again, the Welcome to Brussels bit is the mystery there, at least if it was someone-in-the-Commission theory; but holds up for the desperate-for-anything-to-get-onto-the-news angle.
The third theory is that this was done by Ryanair itself, without warning the boss that it was to happen. Otherwise, he would have brought a spare jacket, surely. If that is the case, it backfired, because the pie became the news, not the strikes and signatures. The usually on the ball team at Ryanair would probably have realised that would be the case.
All in all, I favour theory 1. Be warned! When next you are on the grassy knoll in the middle of the Schumann roundabout, keep your wits about you!